Good morning again all, Cheeks here. I found this piece hiding in the back of a book I had started, but have yet to finish reading. The title of the book is of no consequence. The thing that is important is a note written to me on the inside of the back cover. It is a note written to me from a person I love so much it hurts to even think about him; and apparently, according to the note, he loved me too … only not enough to do anything about it. Story of my life I suppose. Anyways, the note got me to thinking … what is love really, and why do we loose our minds over it? Why do we covet the ever illusive idea of love so? And what makes some of us more apt for love, and others of us, like myself … utterly unlovable?

I guess the place to start is to divine the one thing everyone wants, the one thing every human being, whether s/he will admit it requires from a potential mate, perfection. We always want that perfect person … that safe person to be with. Only, we get the idea of perfect so wrong. In looking at the people in life whom I have chosen to get close to … they were pretty perfect … everyone has loved them. They had the perfect face, perfect clothes, perfect hair, the perfect job, but when it came right down to it, they were not perfect for me … not even close. They had no idea who I was, hell they had no idea who they were, and they had no intentions on getting to really know either of us because they were too busy being … perfect.Now as I sit here writing you I am seeing that yes … the one I love must be perfect … but for me, they mustn’t be perfect for the world. In fact, I think … if the one I love is perfect for me, and my perfect person will certainly have flaws, beautiful flaws, so then how could he possibly be perfect for the world? Ha, my head is spinning. Have I found my ‘perfect’ person? I thought I had … in fact I know I have before … but again, I am never the perfect fit he is looking for, well not until years have passed and circumstances will not allow for us to get together.

I am thinking the reason so many people have such miserable relationships that they are effectively stuck in is one, their perfect person is perfect not for them and their relationship, but s/he is all nice and shiny for the world outside the relationship, and this situation is conducive to disaster every time. And the second problem with most relationships is simply that when we love ... when we really love ... we are not responding to simple emotions. When we love, we see something of ourselves in the soul of another, something we are drawn to, something necessary for our own survival ... and in that realization, in that union we find our humanity union, we find our humanity. When we love, we know untainted greatness.

However, if our mate is perfect for the world at large, how then can we see anything of ourselves in them? What we see in this instance is a mirage; mendacity on our own parts because we know what we are seeing is utterly false, we simply don’t care. It really is strange how we can make ourselves believe something that just is not real, and just hope for the best when inevitably the best just is not meant to be in many cases. These are just random thoughts brought forth by a once missing piece of my life’s puzzle. Now, if only I can figure out where it fits, and place it.

Until next we meet,

Cheeks <3